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 Attack of the Mutant Killer Brain Stems from Corwin, tag: Evelyn
Salvador Vega
 Posted: Mar 29 2012, 05:42 PM
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Inactive

He's got new shoes on.

Posts: 32

BIO
Played by: Alex


Sal was dressed up. He wasn't good at it. Well, he could dress himself, clearly, and there was a certain level of dexterity required for that, but the artistry that went into looking like an actual grown-up person with important pursuits and a life and...cigarettes - that he lacked. There wasn't much call for a waistcoat at his shitty state school. Even for most of his adult life he'd managed to avoid needing to look formal.

And this seemed like something you'd need to be formal for, right? Updating psych details. Being a cured person. Being normal. He had stared at his bed, clothes strewn mirthlessly across it like off-cuts on a factory floor, for something like twenty minutes.

He felt itchy. He was wearing this stupid dark grey-black type jacket thing, that was supposed to seem off-hand but now just sort of felt awkward and out of place. And a T-shirt, because he was an idiot and thought anything else would be TOO formal.

Did he even have to dress well? Fuck.

It wasn't the clothes. Sal just hated the thought of having to prove he was well-adjusted. How did you even positively prove that? He'd been out of little rooms with squishy chairs for such a long time. He'd forgotten the...language, of it. You're fine. It's just to check. Just...to check.

"You can go on through."

Sal jumped slightly, glancing at the receptionist. "Oh, er, thanks."

He almost burst through the door, but stopped himself, coughed, knocked the door twice, and then opened it. "Er, hello? I'm Sa- er, Mr. Vega."

I am such a prick.
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Evelyn Macaulay
 Posted: Mar 30 2012, 09:05 AM
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Advanced Member

Posts: 869

BIO
Played by: Ash


She was typing quickly, eyes glued to her screen. Her next appointment was supposed to arrive within the next three minutes, and she was determined to get this email out before he came in. When her intercom beeped, a warning that someone was about to walk in, her typing speed increased for a second before she realized she wasn't going to make it. When she heard the knock, she left the sentence she'd been on unfinished and switched the monitor off.

As he entered, she stood with a bright, warm smile. "Hello, Mr. Vega! I'm Evelyn, or you can call me Evie or any other associated nickname." She circled around her desk to shake his hand.

There were two chairs in front of the desk, at an angle from each other so as to seem less confrontational.

She gestured to one of them with her free hand and offered, "Please, sit. They're extremely comfortable, I promise." Her smile widened, eyes crinkling a bit at the corners.
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Salvador Vega
 Posted: Mar 30 2012, 03:22 PM
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Inactive

He's got new shoes on.

Posts: 32

BIO
Played by: Alex


He paused a little, giving his flickery smile; 'Mr Vega' sounded even more ridiculous the second time.

"Um...you can call me Sal. I just th- never mind. Sal's fine." Fuck, he was nervous. And all those little ticks he'd had when he could barely get out of bed were coming back - breaking his thoughts in two, stopping his sentences short. It sucked.

"I like Evelyn. It's...like the author." He'd studied an Evelyn...but he was a man. It was the class joke, they were quite young. Sal shook the woman's hand, and blinked, looking around at the chair. Right, chairs. Stereotype had told him all that time ago that he'd be lying on a sofa or something, but it had never been that; always chairs and sweet things to eat and water. Designed to make you comfortable.

He smiled a little reservedly again, and sat down. For some reason Sal was suddenly very happy she was a woman. It wasn't logical, but he'd have hated to do this with a man. Was that sexist? Maybe. Probably.

"They are." He smiled awkwardly again, and cleared his throat. "Um...Miriam...Ms Rhodes. She suggested it would be a good idea for me to...update you on my psych history." They both knew this, of course. It was just...something to say. To start.
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Evelyn Macaulay
 Posted: Apr 3 2012, 10:26 AM
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Posts: 869

BIO
Played by: Ash


She sat when he did, nodding briefly at the invitation to call him "Sal." Like any good psychiatrist, she seemed not to notice the stammering, the broken sentences, the half-finished thoughts.

Smiling at the reference to the author, she let him continue to speak, mentioning an update.

That meant that on the little folder on her desk, there was an actual history. "I see. Well, I'll be honest -- I don't know your psychological history," she admitted, reaching for the folder and pulling it to her. She held it out to him. "This is your folder. I don't feel right reading anything in there unless my patients tell me it's okay. Do you mind if I read it later?"
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Salvador Vega
 Posted: Apr 5 2012, 05:13 AM
Quote

Inactive

He's got new shoes on.

Posts: 32

BIO
Played by: Alex


"Oh. Yeah..of course. S'your job."

He breathed a little. This was not as bad as he always thought it would be. It wasn't even the treatment or being near a psych that was the problem - it was just associated with how he used to be, and despite everything he'd been told about open, honest communication, he wanted to forget that past self. It had sucked, quite frankly.

"Um...I guess I should just tell you the basics." He would've looked for assent, but he was just trying to get it out. "I was hospitalised for a while, after a period of severe depression. The period of my treatment was just over three years, from um...2407 to 2410. I was seventeen when I went in, almost twenty-one when I left. Since then I've been consistently in full time employment and after an initial six month period of counselling and such I was 'home free', so to speak."

He thought about mentioning the things he'd learned; the gardening, the qualifications. But what he'd said seemed...official enough, that it might sound impressive. Sal nodded slightly in confirmation.
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Evelyn Macaulay
 Posted: Apr 7 2012, 05:56 PM
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Posts: 869

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Played by: Ash


It was a rare patient that told her she couldn't read their files, so she was unsurprised when he agreed. Smiling, she folded her hands into her lap as he spoke. He seemed nervous, but she supposed that was fair; one wrong word from her and he could be looking at weekly psych evaluations. It wasn't a fun prospect for someone who was technically supposed to be "home free," as he put it.

Crossing her legs, she leaned to one side -- she'd learned the hard way that some patients took a lean forward as an aggressive move -- and said, "I'm glad you've been doing so well, Sal." Her voice was warm, friendly.

"How are you handling the transition onto the ship?"

A lot of people weren't handling it that well. Most of them didn't even have a rough psychological history. It was only human to find being stranded in a tin can in the middle of a vacuum for over a year a little daunting. She herself had enjoyed a rather tough first week as she realized that the best the ship had to offer was the garden -- with its false sky and lack of wildlife.

It just seemed wrong to enjoy a park that didn't have bugs or frogs or squirrels.
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Salvador Vega
 Posted: Apr 8 2012, 03:09 PM
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Inactive

He's got new shoes on.

Posts: 32

BIO
Played by: Alex


He thought about it visibly, and hummed to himself.

"I think it's easier for me maybe than other people, because I'm used to coping strategies. I know what to do when I feel trapped or upset. And since I've been working on the park, I've had time to myself, to plant stuff - even if it's not like being really outside, it's still...working with soil. I still get that visceral feeling."

Sal paused a little, glancing at her.

"I get nervous. This is an undertaking which involves a lot of people, all working together. And people make connections and they know each other, and that's not really my strong suit. I wonder who I'll be when we get to the new planet. I wonder if I belong here. But at the same time I'm committed to serving this..this group of people. Even if there's a chance I'll never fit in. Because I never fit in before, you know?" He laughed off-handedly, to try and couch what he could only really think of as whining.

"But I mean, everyone's friendly. It's not like they're not friendly. I just...you know, it's weird. In a lot of ways, I never got better than an awkward seventeen year old at talking to people, and now I'm here and I'm supposedly an adult and..." He breathed slightly.

"I know it must sound stupid. But that's how it is. I...don't know whether I'll fit in. ....I sound like a teenager. Ech."

There was no way not to sound like a twat. It was a fact of counselling that you always hated what came out of your own mouth, hated it for being so inadequate as an expression. It always came off as a complaint, when it was meant to be a lament or...something close to that. You could never just rip out your organs and place them in someone else, and then they'd know what you meant. You had to actually communicate.

"I suppose I have more of an issue with people than..environment."
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Evelyn Macaulay
 Posted: Apr 9 2012, 09:58 AM
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Posts: 869

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Played by: Ash


She smiled, her expression growing almost affectionate or indulgent as he spoke. When he'd finished, she shook her head. "A desire for acceptance isn't limited to teenagers, unfortunately -- nor a fear of rejection. Those are perfectly natural fears, and I assure you that everyone on the ship has them." She supposed the fear was a lot more poignant in this situation, though.

After all, if he simply did not like the group of people on any given planet, he could always move to a new one. He didn't really have that option, here. Everyone was all everyone had until their time was up. The end.

The only real way out was ejecting oneself out into the vacuum.

"Have you made any friends on the ship?" Honestly, she was hoping for at least one. Even another gardener that he exchanged a daily greeting with would be a positive step forward.
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Salvador Vega
 Posted: Apr 9 2012, 11:10 AM
Quote

Inactive

He's got new shoes on.

Posts: 32

BIO
Played by: Alex


Sal thought about it, pausing. He had acquaintances, certainly, people he ran into every day. But friends. He shrugged.

"My neighbours, the Evanses. Well, Mrs Evans. I did some odd jobs for her just after launch; her husband works double shifts, so she doesn't have his help much - I mean, because he's a hard worker and everything, which, you know, I respect obviously, I'm not trying to... well anyway, she can't do that stuff because she's busy with kids, which is totally valid -" What was this need he had to qualify every bloody thing he said? She helped counsel people, she was supposed to try and coach the best out of what he said. He didn't need to...garnish it, even if it was sincere garnish.

But he did, and always had to.

"Everyone's nice, actually. I mean, friendly. So far. I'm just not sure if I connected with them properly. I mean, I know that stuff takes time and I'm not trying to 'poor me' or anything." He paused. "I suppose after a while you wonder whether it means things are going wrong again or whether it just happens and it doesn't mean you're going...back. Because I spent ages not going back. I'm good at it, and that was supposed to be the point of coming here." A shrug.

"I'm sorry, I keep rambling." He huffed a laugh. "I mean I know maybe that's the point, but..."
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Evelyn Macaulay
 Posted: Apr 12 2012, 05:26 PM
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Advanced Member

Posts: 869

BIO
Played by: Ash


She laughed. "It is the point. Don't worry, you're doing admirably," she said, reassuringly.

It was good he had someone, although neighbor wasn't quite on the same level as friends. But she figured it was a good, non-threatening relationship. A family unit with young children -- not a lot of chance for rejection, especially if he was helping out.

"I think you're progressing fantastically," she added, smiling brightly. "Do you still do odd jobs for Mrs. Evans?"
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Salvador Vega
 Posted: Apr 13 2012, 05:25 PM
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Inactive

He's got new shoes on.

Posts: 32

BIO
Played by: Alex


"On occasion."

He paused slightly, searching for words.

"I don't feel ashamed of what happened. I know it happens to people. But it's not exactly the sort of thing you just splurge onto people. I want to be honest, because I can't explain my behaviour sometimes otherwise. But if I tell them, I mean - I would think I was being expected to shoulder some of the burden, even if they explicitly denied it."

Sal coughed slightly.

"This ship is stressful for everyone. I'm just not sure it's wise for me to mess other people up with it." He paused, and laughed slightly, "people who aren't being paid, I mean."
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Evelyn Macaulay
 Posted: Apr 13 2012, 05:37 PM
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Posts: 869

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Played by: Ash


Evelyn smiled, a little sadly. "That's what friends are for, Sal. They're there to help you through the bad times. They're happy to take on any burdens. Besides," she added, uncrossing and recrossing her legs the other way as she thought. "A lot of people find it easier to deal with their own stress when they have palpable problems outside of their mind -- like a friend in need."

She knew that pretty well. She was precisely like that.
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Salvador Vega
 Posted: Apr 17 2012, 03:02 AM
Quote

Inactive

He's got new shoes on.

Posts: 32

BIO
Played by: Alex


He smiled slightly.

"Is it wrong to sometimes want to bury all of that when it's other people? To leave it behind and be dealt with like an adult, rather than a patient?" Sal bit his lip.

"Where I grew up - Corwin slum kid, I dunno if you know the drill - mental illness wasn't something people really talked about. I think maybe I have trouble incorporating it into the idea of myself as an adult. I kinda have to admit my personality froze for a few years there - spent my time like a teenager, lashing out, afraid of everything that wasn't on a really level mean. After I left treatment I consigned it to the life of a teenager. But...it's not." He gave a tiny smile.

"I'm sorry, ask people to talk about themselves and they get pretentious." He huff-chuckled, settled himself, and looked at her.

"I guess I'm wondering...is there a way of giving myself excuses here? I kind of just walked on and went to work, and maybe if I join a group or get involved with something..." I sound like a pensioner... "...maybe it'll force me to get in contact with people. Be practical."

He was determined to sound like a pro-active person, damn it.
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Evelyn Macaulay
 Posted: Apr 18 2012, 03:43 AM
Quote

Inactive

Advanced Member

Posts: 869

BIO
Played by: Ash


Well, he certainly seemed like he had a solid grip on himself and his personality. He definitely had that going for him. It was a lot harder to help people when they had no idea what was going on -- or worse, couldn't even begin to fathom what was going on, and stared blankly at their psychiatrist in pure denial when faced with certain implications.

He seemed honest, at least. With others, and with himself, and the latter was pretty rare among people. "Well, there are a lot of clubs forming-- and I think it'd be easier to join up early on than later."

She smiled, suddenly. "One second." Uncrossing her legs, she moved behind her desk and opened a drawer. After a few moments of rifling through some papers, she pulled out a thin, tri-folded pamphlet. "Here." It was a little ratty on the corners from rough use, but it had a list of clubs and their meeting times and spaces. Most of them used media rooms they'd signed up for. "A lot of them meet weekly. You go, you... well, I guess it depends on the club, but I guess in most of them you'd talk about whatever the club's about. They started off pretty sparse, but I think they're gaining steam."
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Salvador Vega
 Posted: Apr 18 2012, 04:14 AM
Quote

Inactive

He's got new shoes on.

Posts: 32

BIO
Played by: Alex


It was a simple request, and if he was honest not one he'd thought about before he blurted it. But it made sense. Sal needed a way to anchor himself into these communities. He took the paper, scanning it quickly.

"There's a CRV Exodus Interpretive Dance group? Wow." This was not a wow of overjoyed excitement. He continued on.

"Big Eaters...Wine Appreciation...Kerning Disapproval...Literary. Literary." He smiled slightly.

"Literary sounds good. Always loved books." He glanced up at her.

"I think I'll...I'll try this. And maybe come back?" He'd forgotten the catharsis of therapy, the lightness of having shared. "I don't think I'm half as clever as I think I am." He frowned."Wait, that's a paradox."

A pause.

"Um, anyway. I think maybe I should...attend. More regularly."
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